Okay, so all of three seconds of intense thought yielded the following additions:
6. A nonhormonal (or minimally hormonal), reversible way of stopping menstruation. Yes, you can currently take birth control pills continuously to accomplish this, but your testosterone levels will be dampened, possibly permanently. I used to not care, but testosterone comes in handy for some things, like kicking the asses of arrogant male colleagues.
7. One second, no-hassle, permanent hair removal. I'm thinking a phone booth-kinda thing you step into that goes up to your chin; you flip a switch, and all of your body hair is zapped off in one elegant fell swoop.
8. One step perfect skin. Maybe a pill, maybe a cream, whatever. Spread it once a day and your skin is radiant, wrinkle- and blemish-free, till the end of time.
9. Robot gigolos. This is an old one, courtesy of Jude Law's delectable character in the movie A.I.
10. Robotic nannies. Sort of like that maid on "The Jetsons". Because seriously, I'm not sure I'd trust my kid with some 19-year old imported British girl. She might shake my baby to death. And I wouldn't blame her, because hell, I might shake the self-centered bastard to death, too. Hence the need for a robotic nanny.
Friday, December 29, 2006
An inaugural post
Finally... a site I've been meaning to put together for a while. To inaugurate this blog, devoted to the female condition, I've put together a list of innovations and discoveries that would greatly improve the female condition. Someone out there better be working on these things NOW:
1. Cures or simple ways of preventing breast, ovarian, endometrial, and other reproductive cancers. (Had to start with this one, even though it's fairly conventional).
2. Orgasm switch. Yeah, it could basically be a switch that you flip. Would put an end to this female sexual dysfunction (or repetitive stress injury) business. There'd have to be some way to prevent people from abusing it, though. Because I know the line at Starbucks is really long, and I might just be tempted.
3. Artificial womb. Plant an embryo in a tank, and low and behold, nine months later, out pops Junior. Obviously save us poor females from that awful pregnancy business. (I'm convinced that if men were the ones who gestated babies, we'd have these by now).
4. Sperm vaccine. For those who don't want children, ever. There's got to be some protein unique to sperm that we could be induced to develop antibodies towards!!
5. Foolproof, nonhormonal contraceptive that you don't need to think twice about. Okay, so there's some sort of contraceptive uterine ring device floating around. We need more of these. Or something else. Just something that doesn't have to be ingested or injected, that doesn't have to be regularly bought from a store or mechanically handled during the whole process. Something you could give to a 12 year old girl, and she wouldn't have to think twice about it until the day she wanted children.
More later...
1. Cures or simple ways of preventing breast, ovarian, endometrial, and other reproductive cancers. (Had to start with this one, even though it's fairly conventional).
2. Orgasm switch. Yeah, it could basically be a switch that you flip. Would put an end to this female sexual dysfunction (or repetitive stress injury) business. There'd have to be some way to prevent people from abusing it, though. Because I know the line at Starbucks is really long, and I might just be tempted.
3. Artificial womb. Plant an embryo in a tank, and low and behold, nine months later, out pops Junior. Obviously save us poor females from that awful pregnancy business. (I'm convinced that if men were the ones who gestated babies, we'd have these by now).
4. Sperm vaccine. For those who don't want children, ever. There's got to be some protein unique to sperm that we could be induced to develop antibodies towards!!
5. Foolproof, nonhormonal contraceptive that you don't need to think twice about. Okay, so there's some sort of contraceptive uterine ring device floating around. We need more of these. Or something else. Just something that doesn't have to be ingested or injected, that doesn't have to be regularly bought from a store or mechanically handled during the whole process. Something you could give to a 12 year old girl, and she wouldn't have to think twice about it until the day she wanted children.
More later...
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